Sailor Senshi on Jerry Springer
by Haruka Loves You
Summary: The title explains it all. :D


Author: Rukes  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own sm or the Jerry Springer show. lol..  
  
Note: This is a short story about The senshi on Jerry Springer. Doesn't it remind you of the that wonderful AMV with the Weird Al song. :D "cheatin cousins & lovers that are marriiieddd!"  
  
  
  
~Sailor Senshi on Jerry Springer~  
  
Usagi was about to doze off during class when Naru came up and said,  
  
"Hey USagi it says here Jerry Springer wants the Saila Senshi to come on his show!!" Usagi blushed.  
  
"Oh the Sailor Senshi eh? That's cool.. are you serious?" Usagi asked.  
  
"Of course Usagi.." Naru comnfirmed. Naru blinked and Usagi was gone.  
  
"Huh...what's up with her?," Molly thought aloud."Hey guys did ya hear??" Usagi asked as she bumped into her posse on her way home.  
  
"Jerry Springer? Yea Haruka and Michiru told us they already scheduled us to go on the show," Rei said.  
  
"I don't know, what about the new enemy?!" Ami commented.  
  
"Not that crap again!" Makoto shouted.  
  
"errmm Whatever," Mina shrugged.  
  
~The night of the show~  
  
"Michiru, I don't know about this what if they find out about us?" Haruka asked.  
  
"Relax they already know. It's the _other_ secret we should be worried about.." Michiru trailed off.   
  
*at the show*  
  
"Okay guys welcome to the show!" Jerry announced to glaring at all the senshi that were there except for 2. They all squirmed nervously in their chairs. Naru and Umino were in the audience.  
  
"So Usagi, we have a special guest and he has something to show you," Jerry informed her.  
  
"Come on out..." Usagi knew it would be Mamoru. What could he be hiding from her?  
  
He walked through the doors lookin' so fine even Haruka and Michiru were drooling (Alright only Michi ;D). "So, Mamoru what do you have to say to your girlfriend Usagi?" Jerry asked him.  
  
"Yea..Usako..there's another woman," He admitted. Usagi was pissed off and the audience started booing. Setsuna came out with a skimpy leather outfit and 6 inch heeled boots. Mamoru raised his eyebrows.   
  
"Sorry Usagi she's way hotter than you, _plus_ I don't have to break my freaking back to kiss her!" Mamoru claimed.  
  
"Why you bastard! I'm gonna show you!" Makto took her chair and meant to throw it towards Mamoru and Setsuna but missed and it hit Naru. She shrieked in pain and then collapsed.  
  
"Ohhh NARU!! SHE'S DEAD!!!" Umino screamed and fainted.  
  
"Oops," Makoto mumbled.  
  
"Oh my god Mako-chan you freakin killed my _best_ friend!" Usagi screamed. She lunged at Makoto and punched her in the eye.  
  
"Fuck! I'm gonna kick your sorry ass!!" Makoto shouted, very angry. Usagi transformed.  
  
"Moon scepter Elminination!!!!" Sailor Moon shouted and instantly disinegrated Mako-chan. She noticed an daimohn egg pop out of the ashes and a spirit thing fly out.   
  
"Holy shit, she was possessed!" Usagi shouted.  
  
"What about Mamoru, Usagi? Kick is motherfuckin ass!!" Rei shouted. Rei transformed and attacked Mamoru with her fire balls.   
  
"This is for dumping me!!" She shouted.  
  
Mamoru ducked and one half of the audience got burnt.  
  
"Heh oops guess I overdid it." She mumbled.  
  
"GOOD!! Mamo-chan's too fine to die! Let's get Set!" Usagi exclaimed.  
  
"Fine with me!" Rei spat. Usagi took her wand and flung it at Setsuna's head. She fell down and said,   
  
"Hah Usagi you baka! Have you seen the size of my time stick thingy!" Set yelled. She took the huge thingy and aimed for Usagi but totally missed and whacked Mina.   
  
"Oops aw well," Setsuna mumbled.   
  
"I'll help!!" Haruka offered.  
  
"AND ME!!" Michiru screeched. They totally beat Set till she was dead.   
  
"Hey I thought she was your friend.." Usagi thought aloud.  
  
"That hoe! She flirted with Haruka!" Michiru shouted.  
  
"AHEM! Everyone that is still alive please sit down." Jerry said. They did. Mamoru stared at Mina who was bleeding from the head.  
  
"Now Michiru said you've been keeping something from her, Haruka...well what is it?" Jerry asked.  
  
"Okay I confess. I slept with Usagi.." She mumbled. The audience gasped and booed (whatever was left of it). Michiru smacked Haruka upside the head and turned her head with a flip of her hair.  
  
"Yea, I'd lay her." Mina somehow had the strength to say.  
  
"WHAT? O..kay Mina since when are _you_ gay and why does everyone want me!!!" She yelped  
  
"I don't want you," Ami said, actually making herself noticable.  
  
"Ami, no one cares _what_ you think.." Mamoru said.  
  
"Besides everyone knows your secret." He grabbed Set's time stick thingy from her dead hands and whacked Ami's upside the head.  
  
"NOOOOO!!!!!" She shrieked her voice getting deeper and slower as her head flew off and all the wires spattered across the room.  
  
"zzzez," Ami mumbled. They all stared.  
  
"Uh okay. We'll get back to Haruka and Michiru but first we have a couple of guests. Quick guys clean up the mess before they see..." He motioned to the janitors who sweeped up Makoto's ashes, Set's beaten body, and a robot formally known as "Ami"...Chibi-usa and Hotaru came out holding hands.  
  
"Okay you guys!! I have an announcement. Hotaru asked me to be her girlfriend and I said yes!" Chibi-usa explained. Rei, Mina, Usagi, and Mamoru exchanged worried looks.  
  
"Whoo hoo more gay senshi!" Haruka and Michiru cheered them on.  
  
"Gay? What is gay Chibi-usa?" Hotaru asked.  
  
"Happy!" Chibi-usa shouted. They became even more worried.  
  
"Ooooh whatever Chibi-usa just kiss me!!!" Hotaru exclaimed.  
  
"Ummm...Okay!" Chibi-usa agreed.  
  
"Noooo!!" Mamoru said and grabbed Chibi-usa away.  
  
"Hey wiseman!" He shouted.  
  
"Yea I'm comin'," he said. Just then Wiseman came out with his crystal ball.  
  
"Change Chibi-Usa into Wicked Lady!" He shouted.  
  
"Umm OKi DOki! Chibi-usa, no one loves you blah blah blah, you were neglected all your life, blah blah You Belong to ME!! Bwahahahhah!" Wiseman said. Chibi-usa bought this.   
  
"Now become Wicked Lady!" He shouted. Chibi-usa instantly grew into a taller sexy woman with breasts and was way more attractive than Usagi. She wore a pink and Black dress with slits that started above her waist. Mamoru drooled.  
  
"Hey that's not fair! Mamo-chan you know we're destiny!" Usagi shouted.  
  
"Screw destiny!" Mamoru said as he ran toward Wicked Lady. Haruka and Michiru were already trying to get at her.  
  
"HEEEY!! THHAAAAATS NOT FAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIRR!" Hotaru screamed in her possessed voice.  
  
"DIE EVERYONE!!" She screamed as her head swiveled completely around her neck and she threw up all over the place. She threw all her negative energy at at them while her eyes flashed red. The whole building blew up. Mina's neck was totally magled and Haruka and Michiru somehow ended up on top of eachother. So was Usagi and Mamoru. Wiseman left back to the nega-moon and Chibi-usa turned back into her own self just as soon as she was completely mangled and severed. Jerry was still standing with the microphone in his hand.  
  
"Ummm..." He mumbled quite speechless. Usagi and Mamoru got up, shrugged and went home. Hotaru's brain had exploded in the process of blowing up the building. Haruka and Michiru started streaking around town (woo woo!). Rei got a record deal and became a star, Mina didn't. Mina fixed her neck and then decided to join Haruka and Michiru in their streaking marathon but they didn't let her so she went home hopeless. It turns out durin the entire show Artemis and Luna were havin hot cat sex. w00t lol.  
  
~The End~  
  
So what did you think..I'll take anythin just plz review. :D! 


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